I move the blog today from lisawysocky.blogspot.com to this location. Colby deserves his own space. Each of the moved blogs has the original posting date and time in its title. And I move the original comments on each of the blogs as best I can. I also work on getting the new website at ColbyKeegan.info up. It may be a few days on that yet. But when it is up, it will be a place where people can learn more about Colby and also post their own stories about Colby for all to read. Colby's friends have told me so many stories, now they, and I, will have a forum, so all who knew him can read, remember, share, and heal.
I am busy here in Houston and that is a blessing. I find myself ancy and easily distracted. It's hard to sit still and listen to even the most learned people here at the conference. I mean no disrespect, but several times I had to leave their lectures. It's like I suddenly developed a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder. Most people here are unaware of Colby's passing. I will mention it at the beginning of my presentation tomorrow. While not many here knew him, most knew of him, and of my deep love for him.
Tonight I am tired and sad. I got through the day better then the few days before but I know tomorrow will be hard. So far, each morning I count the days since Colby died. Tomorrow I begin counting weeks. Tomorrow my mother shares the saddest news a grandmother can share with her friends. Tomorrow it will be one week since my reason for living died.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Comment Copied from original Blog
ReplyDeleteLeslie said...
Oh, Lisa...I talk to him all the time. ALL THE TIME. It is totally natural..and helps a lot.
Just yesterday, I took a cd player up to the little spot where he passed, and played his favorite songs and danced and talked to him...I told him this is probably where he got all that crazy poison ivy..and I laughed and told him I was probably gonna get it too. I talked to him about all the good things weve experienced together..the beautiful time we spent together in Jackson, TN visiting the Native American Mounds, on our way back from New Orleans and laughed at how sick I was the whole time we were there..and we stayed in this super nice hotel that my mom got us from her work and..he and I looked out of place, we felt out of place..wed raid the kitchen for all the free food hahaha. And...I could feel him laughing too. He hears you. He hears us.
Yesterday, I took Dan to see him...thats what I say. I go to visit him. Colby..everyday..multiple times a day. So, I took Dan there so Dan could talk to him. Its a beautiful spot, huh?
I have never met you, but..I love you and I really hope that you and I can take this opportunity to get to know one another...in the voicemail I said we are strangers, which..technically we are but...then again we arent. You, and I, and Ally...we were MASSIVE parts of Colbys life. Massive. And he was a massive part of ours.
Hes free now.
You know, I dont know what I believe regarding heaven..but I know for certain that a persons energy, upon their passing, is released into the atmosphere totally free from the restriction of their physical body. Totally unbound. And that energy is with all of us, it is everywhere, and inside us, outside of us...he is totally free now. Not even restricted by a bike.
He is no longer an addict...he is an amazing, beautiful, creative, artistic, talented, insanely intelligent, articulate, best friend, son, lover, teacher, student, listener...vat of energy, totally free and unrestricted...and at peace. He is at peace. I know he is..because he told me.
I had a dream...
That I was sitting on my grandmothers (who passed away when I was 12) old couch, in her old living room...and I saw Colbys shadow. He was wearing that blue jacket, with the brother inferior patch on the back, and his grandfathers top hat that he always wore..however, I could only see his shadow...not his physical body. I asked him "Tell me what it was like...please.." and his voice, not coming directly from the shadow but coming from everywhere said "Peaceful.......Peaceful."
July 31, 2009 1:47 PM
Dear Lisa, I am a mother of a son with shizophrenia. I was searching online, just googled something like how horses can help schizophrenia and then I added mom needs help to and here I am.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to write here. I am so so sad that your son has passed on. God Bless you. I do not know what happened to your son. My son has been homeless. I think you are amazing and giving an amazing, truly amazing gift to your son by writing!