Kindness, July 28, 2009, 11:04 a.m.

I wake up numb, still unable to eat. The numbness is welcomed, but it doesn't last. I sit in an office of kind strangers who walk me through the cremation process. My mom told me to keep a stiff upper lip, but I'm not that strong. I am embarrassed that I break down and cry. Someone brings me water, another provides hugs. This is hard.

These strangers remind me of Colby's kindness, for that was at the center of his being. He once spent his last $5 buying soft drinks for a group of homeless men. He was twelve then. He rescued puppies several times. From his earliest years he knew how to listen and he listened to the problems of many. He loved those he loved with fierce loyalty.

This morning's strangers remind me of my son. He wanted to help others, but in recent years mental illness prevented that. In honor of Colby and his wish to help people, a group of us will soon announce the Colby Keegan Memorial Scholarship for Grandpa's House, a non-profit in Nashville that offers basic tools of recovery from chemical dependency and mental illnesses. Soon, Grandpa's House will be able to receive funds and others with problems like Colby's will get help.

Colby visited Grandpa's House last week and planned to enter their program in the fall. Their web site is not up yet but it will be in several weeks. I will post more info as soon as it is available. As a parent who's lost a child before his time it is a wonderful feeling to know that a) his life was not in vain, and b) that his memory will live on.