Identity

My identity is lost. For more than 23 years I was a mom. Now I am not sure what I am. Yes, I am a friend, daughter, motivator. A teacher. But my role first and foremost has been mom. Where do I go from here? With Colby's passing, my identity is irrevocably gone, never to return.

Those of us who have become childless parents are in a unique situation. I realize I am not the only one who is going through this. Unfortunately, there are countless others who have lost either their only child, or all their children. Some have grandchildren, so their roles as a parent of some kind will continue. Others, like me, do not.

I know I have to "reinvent" myself. Find a new identity. But that does not come easily. And it is too soon. Way too soon. In the meantime I, along with all the other childless parents out there float in limbo, no longer knowing who I am or what I am supposed to be. I know someday the answer will come. In the meantime, I mourn the loss of my treasured identity along with the treasure that was, and is, my child.