Sundance

From my last post 50 percent say to send a card to my mom for Grandparent’s Day and 50 percent say call her. Hmmmm . . . Sometimes it is hard to know the right thing to do. I decide to do both. I go to the store and find a blank card. In it I will write a message about how much I appreciated my mom as a grandma and how much Colby loved her. And of course I will also call her on Sunday. We talk every day, but on that day I will mention being a grandparent. This is hard for me because being a grandma is something I had looked forward to and now will never be.

While at the store I begin to cry. What I wouldn’t give to get through a trip to the store with dry eyes. What sets me off this time is a pair of men’s flannel pajamas. Colby’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks and normally at this time of the year I would buy gifts for him. I wander the store and wait for the crying spell to cease so I can check out. I have found it makes people in the checkout area nervous and upset if I cry during the process, so I wait.

While I wait I am drawn to the pet section. This is odd because I was here a few days ago to get cat food. Since my last visit an entire shelf has been cleared and removed and dog toys are now on sale in the cat section. I walk closer to the dollar bin and my heart jumps into my throat. There, in the bin, are two miniature cloth “hot dogs” with a squeaker inside. This was the favorite toy of Colby’s dog Sundance. Sundance’s hot dog is long gone and I had been looking for the past three years in stores and online for one for our dog Abby, and more recently for my mom’s dog. I had even tracked it down to the manufacturer only to be told it had been discontinued. And here, on this morning, I see two brand new hot dogs. They are the only toys in the bin and there are two of them.

This is the second time since Colby passed that I have been strongly reminded of Sundance, whose only purpose on Earth was to make people happy. He passed away 3-1/2 years ago and is missed every day. The first reminder of him was in Houston, the week after Colby passed, when an old horse named Sundance was the only horse to accept me. And now here are the hot dogs. I choose to take this as a sign that everything will some how, some way, some day be okay. The tears stop and I buy the hot dogs. They will make nice surprises in the doggies Christmas stockings. Thank you, Sundance.